Japanese Candy Extravaganza Part II

[note: the images here are a wee bit messed up. I will fix them shortly.]

So, I got home worn and weary, and plopped my bag of candy on my desk. My fantastic roommate, Katelin, is pretty much fluent in Japanese, so I enlisted her help in translating a few of the packages. She is excited about my project, and is actually going to be tasting everything with me. Right now, she is getting us some tea so we can clear our palates between tastings.

Candy number one: Choco-Dutsumi, which Katelin says should be Choco-Zutsumi. It’s in some hella fancy packaging. It’s got a cup of matcha on it, with a chasen and all!

Okay. It feels… I don’t know a good word for it. Vulgar. It feels vulgar. That’s all I’ll say, since my mother will read this. but, it’s matcha flavor, and we all know what a sucker I am for matcha-flavored things. So, here goes.

Not bad, not bad at all! It’s basically matcha-flavored mochi with matcha-flavored white chocolate in the middle. A little melty, a little sweet, but VERY heavy on the matcha flavor.

Tastiness: 7/10
Texture: 3/10 (way too mushy and human-skin like)
Better than candy corn? Yes

The next one… I have no idea what this is called. However, according to Katelin, the box says:
“With this you can run 300 meters! It’s delicious and it’ll make you strong!”
Okay, I dunno about her, but it is 11:40 PM and I do NOT feel like running 300 meters right now. I will keep an extra one in my purse, in case I need to escape an attacker or something.

Also note that this one comes with ARTS AND CRAFTS. “Friends from around the world.” Our friends in this pack came from a colder corner of the world: they are polar bears.

(Obviously, Katelin put them together. Not me.)

I think it’s supposed to be heart-shaped. I say it’s butt-shaped.

I expected them to be hard, but they’re chewy. Caramel-y and kinda good.
Tastiness: 5/10 I don’t think I’d go out of my way to buy them again.
Texture: 4/10 Sticks to my teeth!
Better than candy corn? Yes
Do I feel strong? No

Galbo Chips

Okay, that’s scary. A chocolate-flavored chip? I’m a bit concerned. They look like the rye chips from Gardetto’s, but… chocolate? I really don’t know…

BUT HOT DAMN THEY ARE GOOD. Very chocolatey, slightly soft but still crispy. Kinda creamy and chewy at the same time… WE CAN’T STOP EATING THEM! These, I will buy again.
Tastiness: 10/10
Texture: 8/10 Just a bit different, I guess.
Better than candy corn? Hell yes!

This next one really concerns me. Men’s Pocky. Am I allowed to eat it? Will I get arrested? Or worse, will I, ahem, grow a pair? This is easily the most sexist snack in the bunch.

Instead of the normal Pocky bland-cookie deal, it seems to be a pretzel.

[there would’ve been a picture here, but it was kinda crappy. I don’t need to show you what Pocky looks like.]

Not too different from regular Pocky, actually. A bit darker, but otherwise the same.

Tastiness: 6/10
Texture: 7/10
Better than candy corn? Yes
Did I grow testicles? Not… yet.

The next one is (patiently waiting for Katelin to translate because she insists I not call it “Bag of Purple”) Meiji Brand Wata Pachi. She keeps saying it’s gonna be like Pop Rocks but it feels like cotton candy. Luckily, these are two of my favorite kinds of candy, so either way, I’ll be happy. It is grape flavored, though, but I’ll try to choke it down.

It is sort of a pouch? I don’t know. A pouch of cotton candy filled with Pop Rocks. Why didn’t I think of that?

WOW. This is really good too. It doesn’t taste like grape FLAVOR, it taste like grape! The Japanese are way more advanced in yet another way. The Pop rocks are really poppy, and the cotton candy is good too.

Tastiness: 8/10
Texture: 10/10 Cotton candy AND explosions! WOOOOO!
Better than candy corn? Definitely.

Mini-Harvest

Wheat crackers with matcha and brown sugar center. Well dang! That’s a lot of flavors. They look and smell good.

And they taste… like matcha-flavored fish food with a sugar center. Is that what we’re harvesting these days? I will leave it at that.

Tastiness: 4/10
Texture: 5/10
Better than candy corn? Barely

HI CHEW BREAK!

I don’t have to say anything about Hi-Chews. I LOVE Hi-Chews. Like erasers that taste EXACTLY LIKE MANGO. Yum yum.

Tastiness: 10/10
Texture: 10/10
Better than candy corn? Puh-lease. Best candy ever.

By far the winner for best packaging is Chelsea Butterscotch. Flowery and psychedelic. And I’ve had these before. They’re half-crunchy, half chewy, all delicious. But, not really spectacular. Butterscotch (while delicious!) is still just butterscotch.

Tastiness: 8/10
Texture: 4/10 I may have lost a filling.
Better than candy corn? Yes

Okay, so Mobaccho!

I have no idea what these are. And they exploded during the “push” step. And I screamed. It was awesome.

I’m gonna be pissed if I just bought a cup of peas.

They’re little cookie bits covered in a white-chocolate matcha coating. And they’re good! Very matcha-y, and not too sweet. These are a keeper.

Tastiness: 8/10
Texture: 8/10
Better than candy corn? Yes

Plus-X Cube Citrus Soda Mint Gum

Cute box, right? Well I opened it, and a pack of Post-Its fell out of a pocket under the top. “What the hell?”
“Oh, those are to throw away the gum in,” said Katelin.

Those Japanese… I don’t even know what to say. But I will be using them as Post-Its, I think, to write one-word notes to people.

The gum is… minty. With some SLIGHT tartness to it, kinda like Pledge. Or bleach. And sort of crunchy.

Tastiness: 4/10
Texture: 6/10
Better than candy corn? Yes
Comes with office supplies? YES.

Cola Mentos! For all the fun of dropping Mentos into Diet Coke without the mess. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, Google “mentos and diet coke.”)

Definitely Cola-ish… and chewy. I kinda like it, actually! If they’d just make a Jack Daniels flavored Mentos (Mento? I have no idea) then we’d be in business!

Tastiness: 7/10
Texture: Mentos/10
Better than candy corn? Yes

Bit. Another selection from the many matcha-flavored things I picked up today. It’s tiny, and looks like a little green chocolate bar.

Way too sweet, and again, kinda tastes like fish food. There were crunchy bits on the bottom, but that was its only saving grace.

Tastiness: 2/10
Texture: 4/10 (would’ve been lower had it not been for the crunchy bits)
Better than candy corn? Ehh, I guess.

Watering KissMint
I don’t know what to say here. Um, what is it? Mint? Gum? Water? Will it make me a better kisser? I don’t think that Katelin will help me test this theory. But she does say that it’s grapefruit flavor, which is kind of a surprise since the package is orange. Aren’t grapefruit things usually pink?

Oh well. Here goes.

WHOA. Just opening the cellophane wrapper, all I could smell was grapefruit. I don’t even want to chew it! Or eat it! Or drink it! Or kiss it! Or whatever! I just want to smell it!

So it appears to be gum.

An odd texture for gum… a bit… um, crumbly. But it’s actually delicious, and it tastes very grapefruity.

Tastiness: 9/10
Texture: 7/10
Better than candy corn? Yes
Will it make me a better kisser? I’ll get back to you on that.

CRUNKY!
Will it get me CRRRUUUNK?

I doubt it. It’s a matcha-chocolate rice cracker. We’ve kinda been two-for-four on the matcha stuff so far, so fingers crossed for CRUNKY!

(I just wanna say CRUNKY!)

“Made from new tea from 2009!” Oh good. I hate havin’ that ol’ aught-eight tea in my candy. I MEAN MY CRUNKY!

It’s a welcoming, open box. Which is great, because I can’t wait to say to guests: “Oh, would you like some CRUNKY?”

It looks like a Nestle Crunch Bar, but the rice tastes really toasty, and with the matcha white chocolate (which is CRAZY MATCHA-Y), it tastes like the kind of tea you get at sushi places. It is DELICIOUS. Y’all best believe I’ll be snatchin’ up some more CRUNKY pretty soon!

Tastiness: 9/10
Texture: 10/10
Better than candy corn? Hell yeah, playa.
Crunkness: 10/10

More in the pellet-shaped snacks, we have Choco Baby!

I’ve had Choco Baby before. I like Choco Baby. They’re just little pellets of chocolate. Tasty when you want some chocolate, which for me is kinda rare, but they’re convenient. “Like Raisinets without the raisins!” – Katelin

Tastiness: 8/10
Texture: 8/10
Better than candy corn? Yes

Okay, so this is exciting. Frisk Berry Mints. Why am I excited? Because they are going to sharpen me up. I don’t think we need a picture because they just look like aspirin.

OH SWEET LORD. These are nasty. They taste like NyQuil. And they’re making my tongue burn.

Tastiness: 1/10
Texture: It’s a mint
Better than candy corn? NO
Sharpened me up? Um… no.

What a sad note to end on.

Well, fortunately, I didn’t buy ALL of the candy at Shirokiya, so stay tuned for another round of Japanese Candy Extravaganza. Thanks to my co-host and translator Katelin. We’re gonna eat some more Galbo Chips now.